A Twist On Self-Care

There is a lot that is written and talked about when it comes to self-care. Some are good at it and others have a hard time. When life does not throw you a bunch of thorns that you need to deal with; it is easier to take time to do the relaxing things of life. 

The reality is that to be able to do the extra things in life that are listed on the many different books or blogs on the topic; one needs to have the foundation in life reasonably functioning.

If your home life, whatever that may look like, is in chaos, it is hard to do self-care. The homeless person needs to survive and self-care might be the last thing they think of.

If you are in the middle of moving, it is hard to think too much of self-care. Sometimes there is a job that must be done and it comes first. 

Beginnings of self-care

Self-care starts with the basics, having a place to live. This may mean going to work every day so that you have a place to live. This means getting out of bed and going to work. This means having enough money for your situation. 

 

Who thought getting up each day and going to work was part of self-care? This is going to work and realize that your paycheck at the end of the day is your reward so you have a place to live and do some of the extra things that bring you joy, happiness, or contentment.

Physical self-care

This is where you want to keep your physical body healthy. There can be several items that help this; fresh air, exercise, healthy eating most of the time, plenty of water, regular good sleep, etc. You may need help from others with this such as a healthcare provider.

Emotional self-care

This may be something that you would not think about when it comes to self-care. When you learn emotional intelligence you will feel better a lot of the time. Learning to control your emotions, helps decrease arguments and the chaos in your life. Over time you will have more peace in your life. You can learn more about this topic here.

Mental self-care

This goes hand in hand with emotional self-care. It is the ability to choose what you think about. When the past is so traumatic and it is hard to live the strong emotions go, it is hard to focus. There is help for you if you need it. You can learn more about mental health here.

Intellectual self-care

This is taking care of your ability to think and complete tasks. This will look different for most people. What you want is to be able to continue stimulating learning. This could be very simple or it could be more involved like going back to school later in life. Another way to look at this is lifelong learning.

Financial self-care

With the basics in life, the goal is to get enough money ahead for about 4-6 months of living expenses, so that you do not need to worry about having enough money moving forward. This decreases the stress and worry so that you have more time and money for self-care. This also is self-care in that it decreases financial stress.

Sexual Self-care

This starts with understanding your sexuality. It includes keeping yourself sexually healthy. This would be a regular check-up, treating any issues. This includes keeping yourself sexually safe if you go out for the evening. This means not drinking beyond normal limits (no more than 2 drinks for women or 3 drinks for men in a day) so that you do not black out and end up having non-consensual sex.

 

Spiritual self-care

This is not about going to church and being part of a religious organization. This is about knowing what your path or purpose in life is. This may take you a while to figure out. It also may change over time. You deserve to choose your life path.

When the going is tough, try some of the following:

  1. Diaphragmatic breathing is also known as belly breathing. Try it 3 times. Put your hands on your belly button to feel the normal breath coming in and out. Just check to make sure you are not breathing into the lung; watch for shoulder rising or the rib cage expanding.
  2. Try lying on your stomach for 3 minutes.
  3. Stretching the jaw for 5 seconds.
  4. Lifting your shoulders up, back, and down 3 times.
  5. Try pushing your toes into the ground for 5 seconds and repeat 3 times.
  6. Making a fist and releasing it 5 times.
  7. Move around to music for 3 minutes.
  8. Use a writing instrument to doodle for 30 seconds.

After the basics

Finding time for self-care for many is always a struggle. In reality, it is best planned in the schedule. Some of the easy things to do at home may be spontaneous. 

This is a journey about being intentional in your life. Choosing what you want to do and making it happen. If you are in a relationship and perhaps have children, the journey will need to include them for some of it.

Learn more about Audrey Tait here and if you’re in Red Deer or online in Alberta and seeking a therapist to help you with your self care, please reach out today.